There lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked beans. Unfortunately, they made her pass so much gas each time.

Baked Beans So when she met the man she would marry, she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.

Some months after her wedding, her car broke down on the way home from work. She called her husband and told him she would be late because she had to walk home.

On her way, she stopped at a diner, and before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home she farted, and upon arriving home she felt sure she could control it.

Her husband seemed excited to see her and said, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He then blindfolded her and led her to her chair at the table.

She seated herself and as he was about to remove the blindfold from his wife, the telephone rang.

He made her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned, then went to answer the telephone.

While her husband was out of the room she seized the opportunity, shifting her weight to one leg and letting it rip. I was loud, and smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk. She shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which reminded her of cooked cabbage. She went on like this for another 10 minutes!

When her husband's call ended, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin. He removed the blindfold, and she saw 12 dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy Birthday!"