his kids, how they wanted this and that, expected it, were almost afraid not to have it, because of the herd instinct at school.

I actually caught myself saying the following, during a conversation with my DH who had played fiddles with a mother and son (age 12) at a dance I didn't attend last night:

DH- He was a really nice kid, really friendly and polite
Me- Oh- he must be home-schooled!

Yikes. But frequently true!