Having ascertained, I hope, that the majority of rapes are actually perpetrated by an acquaintance and not some deranged stalker and that legally/morally the area of 'implied consent' still remains for some people a grey area it was inevitable, I suppose, that the concept of consent was never more controversial than in the marital bed.

The idea of 'spousal rape' or non-consensual sex in which the perpetrator is the victim's spouse.is not new to anyone who has worked with victims of domestic violence.

Marital rape is likely to be part of an abusive relationship.
Trauma from the rape adds to the effect of other abusive acts or abusive and demeaning talk.
Furthermore, marital rape, unlike 'stranger' rape, is rarely a one-time event, but a repeated if not frequent occurrence


Keith Marsden in his song 'Willy 'Ole Lad' has a father warning his daughter about the possibility when 'romance' has worn thin with the responsibilities and difficulties of frequent child bearing etc


When it's always your fault with the nagging and the beer makes him nasty and bad,
When you lie there and dread that he'll want you in bed, will you still love your Willy-'Ole lad?

So if you want my consent to wed him, lass, I fear you'll be wanting a while.
If it's him that you meet at the altar, then it won't be my arm down the aisle.
Just cherish your grace for a while, lass, and dream silly dreams while you can.
When you've spent all your youth, you'll have long years for truth, with your lad still a Willy-'Ole man.


A web site giving information about domestic violence recognizes the conditioned feelings of blame / responsibility many women in these relationships have

"We prefer to see it possibly as a communication problem (did I make it clear enough that I did not want intercourse tonight),
we may see it as an act for which the man is not fully responsible due to his nature (men have a biological need to have sex and if there is a woman next to them in bed when they are in the mood they just cannot help it),
we may see it as a misunderstanding (although I told him I didn't want to, maybe I gave him the wrong signals somehow),
we may have religious issues which question our right to refuse intercourse (I have got to submit myself to him and accept his will above mine as my Lord and Master).


Although as the concept of human rights has developed, the belief of a marital right to sexual intercourse has become less widely held Marital Rape was only made a criminal act in the UK in 1991
Up until then it was considered impossible for a man to rape or sexually assault his wife.
To quote:
"A husband cannot rape his wife unless the parties are seperated or the court has by injunction forbidden him to interfere with his wife or he has given an undertaking in court no to interfere with her."

Countries that have not made spousal rape a criminal offence -
Afghanistan, Bahamas, Bangladesh, Ethiopia, Tanzania, Zambia