I was once asked (the night of the performance) to step down from doing the solo in a high-school talent show (we were doing a selection of songs from "Hair") in favor of another soloist because, as music director Mr Bennett told me, I kept going off key. The fact that the other girl was a foot taller than me, popular, a model, thin, and gorgeous while I was none of those things had, I'm sure, nothing to do with his decision, although I assure you I do not now and did not then sing off key.

I had my revenge, though, because the other girl was not expecting to sing the solo and opted to get stoned to keep from being so nervous, as a result of which she forgot the words right in the middle of "Easy to Be Hard" and had to improvise half the song. I merely smiled when Mr Bennett allowed as how I'd been missed. What an utter and complete jerk!