Pulling for you here, dear Dharmabum.

A question about the insurance co- do you have a doctor or someone at the hospital who can go to bat for you to argue with them? When my daughter needed elective jaw surgery to correct some birth anomalies, our ins. co denied it saying it was cosmetic. But our surgeon kept at them, wrote tons of letters, until they gave it.
It seems to me that this situation is much more critical, and what you need is an advocate in the system who can fight for you.

Whatever the case, you have my love and support and positive thoughts.