Well, Weird Al isn't Scottish, and ACHY BREAKY SONG isn't about dividing up a record collection, but other than that....

From the recording at YouTube:


ACHY BREAKY SONG
Words, Weird Al Yankovic.
Music, ACHY BREAKY HEART by Don Von Tress (recorded by Billy Ray Cyrus).

You can torture me with Donny and Marie.
You can play some Barry Manilow,
Or you can play some schlock like New Kids on the Block,
Or any Village People song you know.

Or play Vanilla Ice. Hey, you could play 'im twice,
And you could play the Bee Gees any day,
But Mister DJ please, I'm beggin' on my knees.
I just can't take no more of Billy Ray.

Don't play that song, that Achy Breaky song,
The most annoyin' song I know,
And if you play that song, that Achy Breaky song,
I might blow up my radio.

You can clear the room by playin' Debby Boone,
Or crank your Abba records until dawn.
Oh, I could even hear Slim Whitman or Zamfir.
Don't mind a Yoko Ono marathon.

Or play some Tiffany on eight-track or CD,
Or scrape your fingernails across a board,
Or tie me to a chair and kick me down the stairs.
Just please don't play that stupid song no more.

Don't play that song, that Achy Breaky song.
You know I hate that song a bunch,
And if you play that song, that nauseatin' song,
It might just make me lose my lunch.

Don't play that song, that Achy Breaky song.
I think it's drivin' me insane.
Oh, please don't play that song, that irritatin' song.
I'd rather have a pitchfork in my brain.

Don't play that song, that Achy Breaky song,
The most annoyin' song I know.
And if you play that song, that Achy Breaky song,
I might blow up my radio.