Thanks for the links to the mouth sore care. As of yet, I do not have mouth sores but I know they are a possibility and can be very painful..anything to help with that is great. I'd rather have an idea ahead of time how to deal with it rather than wait until I'm a mess.

And Susan, if you would like to tape the audio, that would be great!!! I haven't received anything in the mail but will keep an eye out!

I am beginning to meet people within the cancer care circle. At my first chemo appointment, there was this woman and her boyfriend in the waiting room....they really stood out to me as they were both dressed very well, make up done, looking alert and healthy which in an oncology department, isn't always the case. She almost radiated and I admired her from afar.

The next week I went to a Look Good Feel Better program put on by the American Cancer Society and low and behold, she walked in...still radiating and stylish. I immediately asked her if she had been at the chemo center last week on whatever day it was. She cocked her head, looked hard and me and said, "Yes I was. Why?" I told her that I had really loved her hat and how she seemed to beam. She smiled and we talked during the entire thing, she took a picture of mom and I, we exchanged addresses and phone numbers and she said she'd send the picture. Well. She called me the next day. I wasn't feeling well and wasn't taking any calls. I didn't call back for a few days but when I did, I got her machine. The same with the next day. Yesterday she called me and we talked 3 different times for a total of about 2 and half hours. She gave me a little bit of an ass kicking that was totally needed and actually appreciated...helped me pull myself together....we talked about the port I have to have put in on Monday (and am nervous about), we talked nutrition, we talked grants that assist with things associated with cancer care (and OMG, there are a TON of them), foods that sit well, the ups and downs and the how the hell am I going to get through this kinds of things. My mom and I will be going to the Care House (Ronald McDonald House for adults with cancer) to stay over Sunday night as my port goes in early on Monday and it's a 2 hour drive for us....anyway, my new friend is ALSO going to be there on Sunday....we are planning to get together, chat up a storm, play games, cook in the kitchen and hang out. I am really, REALLY looking forward to this!!!!!
    During our conversation she didn't really ask but said she had no idea what kind of cancer I had or what kind of meds I was getting so I told her. I tell everyone, it's not a secret at all...some people like more privacy about that and I totally understand but for me, I'd rather that people know. Anyway, I asked her directly what kind of cancer she had and immediately felt as though I had created a faux pa. She hesitated and then told me she has Progressive Stage IV Colon cancer. If I wasn't already in total awe of her positivity to make the best of this situation and her efforts to be who she is, this just sent me over the edge in admiration....she talks about something that is so frightening to me as though it were the weather.....so calm.
    She put things out for me in black and white and very succinctly. She said (in her very thick NYC accent), "Look honey, you have 3 choices:

    A. You can enjoy each step of the journey you are on, making the most of it.

    B. You can be miserable and resistant each step of the journey you are on.

    C. You can do nothing and die.

    What's it gonna be?

I know it's very simple but I hadn't thought of it that way before. Everyone says to concentrate on the here and now as that's all any of us have and yes, that is true but when your very core has been shaken sometimes it's really hard to focus on that....at least it is for me. I know it's all been said with the best of intentions and that they are right but for whatever reason, how T put it clicked with me.

    Anyway, she is just one of several people I have met and made contact with and I am super excited to get together and spend more time with her on Sunday afternoon. YAY!

Love to you all,

Michelle

PS. Rowan...I'll be thinking about you on Monday!!!!!!!!!!!!