I have, as usual, much sympathy with Mr. Bridges' point of view, but I believe a few minor rule changes could greatly improve the sport. Abolish the handball rule. Allow defenders to grapple the opponent who has the ball. Make the successful carrying of the ball to the opponents' end fruitful in terms of the score. To improve handling, change the shape of the ball to an ellipsoid. Instead of endless boring conversations about stars, managers and the offside rule, the apres-jeu should involve drinking to excess and singing bawdy ditties concerning Scottish virgins or engineers.

I'm sure you will agree that the sport would be greatly improved by these measures.