Kendall, whatcha need is some of that there "Maine Medicinals" elderberry stuff--"Antho-immune" I think they call it. I've been swigging it all winter and it's supposed to fight all the bad beasties...haven't had my usual winter bouts of pneumonia or any colds or sore throats, which is quite unusual for me. Yep, it's supposed to be good for what ails ya... but if it doesn't cure anything, there's still enough alcohol in it to make the swig a treat.

(If you CAN have herbal tea at some point, "Throat Coat" from "Traditional Medicinals" is more soothing than anything else I've found, owing to the wild cherry bark and slippery elm. 'Course, that assumes you can swallow, or at least manage to drizzle things down without too much pain.)

--Cuilionn (who suggests punching a pillow or writing enraged letters to random newspaper editors as nice alternatives to screaming...)