A pianist was playing for a sing-song session at the "Stand Up Inn" in Lindfield in Sussex. (http://www.standupinn.co.uk/)

Now at that time, there were - as the pub's name suggests - no chairs or tables in the pub and the drinkers used to place their drinks firmly between their legs when they did not want to hold their pints.

One old chap had his drink on the floor between his legs whilst he gave vent to a song. When he was finished singing, another customer tapped him on the shoulder and said, "Excuse me, but do you see that dog over there? It just piddled in your beer whilst you were singing."

The old chap was furious! "Whose dog is it?"

"Oh! It's the pianist's" came the reply.

"Right!" say the enraged singer and he stomped over to the pianist. "Do you know your dog just pissed in my beer?"

"No, I don't think I do know that one," came the reply,"But I can vamp along with anything if you just hum the tune."