Two Vermonters went bear hunting in the woods. They came to a fork in the road; sign said Bear Left, so they went home.
In Vermont, apple pie without the cheese is like a kiss without the squeeze.
In fact, while in most of the world a Yankee is an American, in the Iberian-speaking world it's a North American, in the US it's a Northerner, in the Northern US it's a New Englander, in New England it's a Vermonter, but in Vermont it's somebody who doesn't like cheddar cheese on their apple pie.
City slicker, lost, drives by the old Vermonter rocking on his front porch. As a prelude to asking directions, he says Hey, Old Timer, you been rocking on that there front porch all your life? Vermonter answers, not yet. So the city slicker asks directions, and the old dude is all like this way and that way and around the stump and hang left, and the city slicker writes it all down, and drives off. About a half hour later, here comes the same car by the old man's front porch. City slicker says Hey, I followed your directions excactly, how'd I end up here instead of where I asked? Vermonter says, I had to be sure you could follow directions.
What do Vermont girls put behind their ears to make themselves attractive to men?