It so happens that I bought a can of peanut butter earlier this year, and when I opened it, there it was plain as day....

Spaw's face in the peanut butter!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was astounded. It was the undeniable image of Ohio's most famous layabout, wrought in ground up peanuts and whatever the hell else they put in that stuff.

I called up the papers and phoned the TV stations and all that sort of thing.

But nobody came.

It seems that nobody gives a damn about Spaw's face. They said, "You mean it's not Jesus? Or the Virgin Mary? Don't waste our time."

So last week I threw the damn thing out in the trash.