By the way, REAL hosers...unlike SCTV's Doug and Bob...also have a big interest in mind-altering drugs of all kinds, and they also smoke cigarettes and dope on a regular basis. They will seek out casual sex wherever they can find it, but it's usually a secondary consideration to the junk food and the mind-altering substances.

Some hosers are not above committing petty crimes such as theft or welfare fraud to support their need to avoid real WORK. They will put tremedous effort into avoiding WORK...sometimes to the point of exhausting themselves! Only large ingestions of beer and dope can remedy that condition.

Every hoser hopes to experience a "lost weekend" whenever Friday rolls around, but what he really yearns for is a lost month...or better yet, a lost year!

"The party never ends, man."

Oh, they have quite an appetite for loud and obnoxious rock music too. Heavy metal goes down great with hosers.