Ashton's song seems to be a rewrite of this one, from the Levy Collection: (Click for the PDF file.):


Pete Morris' Celebrated Comic Melodies
Arranged for the Piano Forte by Geo. W. Peabody, Esq.
No. 3
THINGS I DON'T LIKE TO SEE
Boston: Geo. P. Reed, 1846.

1. A song I'll sing now in jingling rhymes
About matters and things in these curious times.
A lesson to all I hope it will be,
When I sing about things that I don't like to see.

CHORUS: You may call me a "quiz." You may call me a "pry,"
But I don't like things that look queer to the eye.
If you like them that's nothing to me,
So these are some things I don't like to see.

2. I don't like to see galls all the time reading sonnets,
Romances and novels wear queer little bonnets
Who screw up their waist and wear a tight sleeve,
And dare not poor creature enjoy a good sneeze.

3. I don't like to see boys just from their mamma's,
Who think they are men when they smoke a cigar;
They'd look better at school, or playing with toys,
Than running the streets exclaiming I'm one of the bo-boys.

4. I don't like to see dandies without any cash,
Promenading the streets and cut quite a dash,
Stare at the ladies, look pretty and sweet,
Without a cent in their pocket and nothing to eat.

5. I don't like for politicians who take great pains,
To show their constituents they're possess'd of large brains
Who talk about this thing likewise about that,
And all what they're after is government pap.

6. I don't like to see ladies want satin for dress,
When their husband's a bankrupt and in great distress.
They would look better at home washing up dishes
Mending holes in their stockings and their husbands old pantaloons.


[I don't know why the last line doesn't rhyme. (Also, it has too many syllables.) It reminds me of songs like SWEET VIOLETS, where they substitute a commonplace non-rhyming word for the expected rude rhyming one—except I can't think what the rude word might be. Any ideas?--JD]