If it is uncomfortable for our Mudcat friends when we do so here, we are content to post only the stories that will provide encouragement and indicate progress to whomever happens to read the posts.

We have held off posting for several days to allow the concern and helpful efforts to go to those here who are fighting the good fight against various illnesses.


It can be hard for folks to be sure what is grief-venting that needs no response-- and what is meant otherwise. (It took me a long time to learn to say, up front, what I intended/wanted in my posts, but doing that CAN help cut down the unwanted help/advice offers.) And I know for sure that just about everyone here trusts and expects you to:

Take the best and leave the rest.


Now, as far as not wanting to eclipse others' struggles-- that is NONSENSE. There is MORE than enough MudLove to go around. Behind the scenes, sometimes. Take LF for instance. I'm close to that one so I can say-- MOST of the support there has been offthread, via PMs between her best supporters. Quiet, personal, well-aimed, well-used.

No one person's struggle is on the shoulders of only a few, tho maybe those "few" do sometimes FEEL like it is. But that is THEIR issue, and they can let go of that "I'm so burdened" approach at any time. Their issue of feeling overly-needed has NOTHING to do with what YOUR rational needs are.

Your only "job" in this is to just... be... yourself. Woman, that who-you-really-are person is SO WORTHY of being supported. Those who know you really well know that in spades, but even those of us who only know you a little more narrowly also find it obvious.


When we had our fire, there was not enough support in the world, despite a caring church family, biological families, coping skills we were told were extraordinary, and a few close Catter friends. And that was only a "teensy" fire-- compared to yours. TAKE THE SUPPORT. Why? Because your own future goals require that you be at your best, later (as you define it).

This means that your own recovery now-- which you so excellently model and conduct-- is priceless. It's more priceless even than the house that of COURSE you must grieve.


But the idea that you have to wait for space here-- nope. Just not so! Space with close-by folks, yes, maybe-- they do have a heavy load right now.

But just a tad farther are the REST of us.

Teach us what you need! Some of us are quick learners! :~)


~Susan