My grandfather was Irish, and my mom learned this from him. She woke me up with this song every St. Patrick's day until I moved out of the house. She still calls and leaves it on voicemail on March 17th...

Did you ever go into an Irishman's shanty?
The water is scarce but the whiskey is plenty.
There's a three-legged stool and table to match,
A door upon hinges without any latch.

You go in the kitchen, you're dirt to the knees.
You go in the bedroom, you're covered in fleas.
You bite and you dig and you scratch and you crawl -
but holy St. Patrick you can't sleep at all!