THE LEWES SATURDAY FOLK CLUB BALLAD PERSONALITY QUIZ
(Our next all-day ballad forum is on Sunday 10th. October with Chris Coe.)

Write down your answers to each question.

You are in a ballad.

1. You come to a river. Do you

a) urge your horse into the water and drown?
b) try to swim across and drown?
c) take off your shoes/ bare your breast and swim across successfully?
d) dump your former boyfriend in it?

2. You have drawn your sword. Do you kill

a) your brother?
b) your sister?
c) your wife's boyfriend?
d) yourself?

3. You are about to mount a horse. Is it

a) milk white?
b) dapple grey?
c) berry brown?
d) harnessed with a lot of silver bells?
e) bonny black?
f) a broom handle with a stuffed head on it?

4. When do you normally expect to come home?

a) when bells are rung and mass is sung?
b) when cockle shells turn silver bells?
c) when the heather hills are nine times burned?
d) when the sun and the moon stand on yonder hill?
e) in the spring?
f) Halloween?
g) on the fifth day of November?
h) after putting the chairs away?

5. You meet an old girlfriend. Do you

a) share a bottle of wine with her and her new boyfriend?
b) stare at her in church until your eyes water?
c) pretend to be someone else, make a pass at her and tell her you're dead?
d) tell her you're dead because you actually are?
e) invite her to come on a luxury cruise and wreck the boat?
f) promptly die of an embarrassing social disease?
f) offer her a booking?

6. You meet an attractive young woman you don't know. Do you

a)        take her by the 1) hand and 2) sleeve, assuming 1) is lily-white and 2) is grass-green?
b)        Offer to carry her luggage?
c)        Admire her baby?
d)        give her an advance payment towards child care expenses?
e)        Sell her a raffle ticket?

7. You have just given birth. Does your baby look like

a)        an unnamed sailor?
b)        someone else's husband?
c)        a seal?
d)        a future performer?

7. You have drawn your penknife. Do you kill

a) your brother?
b) your sister?
c) your baby?
d) yourself?
e) all of the above?
f)        or do you open letters with it?


From studying your replies you should be able to deduce which of these is closest to your temperament and to seek the appropriate career or counselling, as appropriate:

Knight, Outlandish
Knight, False
Night, Singing Visitor
Mother, Cruel
Page Boy, Little
Sailor, Saucy
Sailor, Cut Down In Your Prime
Lover, Demon
Lover, True
Lover, Old True
Lover, False True
Lover, Ghost of
Rover, Spencer The
Queen of Elfland
Organiser, Folk Club

Tootle pip,

Valmai (Lewes)