I'd like to know how to excite my pistol. Mostly it just lays there in the gun safe and doesn't get excited about much of anything. Of course, it's metal with wooden grips but geez! I'd think that something should get it excited.

Maybe it has a secret life I don't know about, maybe some sordid affair with one of the shotguns. Good thing I keep the ammo locked up elsewhere or I might end up with a Frankie & Johnny situation.