LOL! Only fools and madmen spend much time in these hallowed halls of bloviation, Mick. I'm glad to hear that you still have enough of a real life that it doesn't allow you to spend a lot of time here.

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The malfunctioning urinal thing IS a conspiracy! No doubt about it. The intention is to cause people stress by frustrating them. The increased stress causes them to get all "pissed off", rush around and buy things, and that stimulates the economy. People who are pissed off are more likely to support war! It's quite clear that a consortium of major corporations in collusion with the CIA and Blackwater have conspired with urinal manufacturers to bring about this horrifying situation, and it must be stopped!

Chongo Chimp has been a courageous crusader on this burning issue for some time. He wants people to all gather outside the washrooms in shopping malls and chant "I'M PISSED OFF AS HELL, AND I'M NOT GONNA TAKE IT ANYMORE!!!!!" If enough people do this we can stop the conspiracy in its tracks and restore good quality urinals to the nation.

Chongo has also proposed an amendment to the Bill of Rights that will guarantee the availability of properly functioning urinals in every community and every public area. It's called the "Pisser Amendment".

Women should not be afraid to show solidarity and join men in protesting the situation, because even though women don't use urinals themselves, they still have to deal with frustrated men who do....therefore it's their problem too.