I have two guitars that I play often - a 38 year old Yamaha FG180 and a 5 year old Tanglewood - and I am competely unaware of any fret wear. Perhaps I should start worrying.

The Yamaha I play with either 12s or 13s and have done through it's life. I bend quite a few notes from a 1/4 tone to a tone to a tone and a half with no noticeable problems.

The Tanglewood is strung similarly and played similarly.

Do you play a lot of blues in E? How come all the wear at frets 10 to 12?

Having typed that I went and looked under a bright light and both have little indents especially on the B and E string and E and A but practically no wear on the D and G strings. Most of it is concentrated on the first 5 frets and the third fret under the top string the most.

None of it makes any difference to sound or playability though.

I looked at my son's Ibanez JEM7WH (which is hugely more expensive than my guitars) which he plays several hours a day which he has had for a little over 3 years. It has similar little indents especially under the top two strings but again with no negative effect on playing. He plays with 10's or occasionally 9's and you can bend them from here to Christmas with no problem

I presume when they get too worn the notes start to buzz or catch other frets or the bends catch?

I'll see how the Yamaha goes over the next 20 or 30 years and let you know