Though it doesn't quite fit this thread, I'd like to offer something we used to sing in the 50s which went :-

Five foot four, fat galore,
when she walks she rocks the floor -
has anybody seen my gal?
Two left feet, eyes that meet,
but she's got that rock-n-roll beat -
has anybody seen my gal?

Now when she reads a book she cannot look
at the bottom of the pages,
there's so much size between her eyes
she hasn't seen her feet for ages;
every night she holds me tight and I'm completely out of sight -
has anybody seen my gal?