Well, if Elizabethan works, perhaps Burns will, too. Not strictly a song, until someone works out a tune for this jingle ....

To A Squirt

Fair fa', ye honest, sonsie can
A drink for wumman, bairn or man
Fain wid I pour ye doon ma cran
It disnae hurt
When I've a thirst, I'm a great fan
O' a can o' Squirt

I pour ye oot, ma gless tae fill
The bubbles bright, wi' richt good will
Ah ken ye'll no dae ony ill
That's whit I think
I'll no be satisfied until
I've had a drink

The flavours, citrus-sharp I ken
Ootstandin' for the thirst o' men
For drinkin' oot, or drinkin' ben
My mooth does watter
I'll drink a can o' Squirt, an' then
Anither after

I've drunk the Vimto, Irn Bru,
Pepsi and Lilt are no ma brew
Sprite an' Tizer mak me spew
An' even coke
Are naething when compared wi' you
They mak me choke!

Ye Powr's wha mak mankind your care
And dish them out their bill o' fare
Mak siccar noo, that ony where
Whaur we wid pour't
The answer to a thirsty prayer
A can o' Squirt.