Hey Sins,

They upped my Ambien to 10mg with a note that if it doesn't work in the first hour to take another one!!!!!! My pharmacist gave me the hairy eyeball and said she didn't know if the insurance company would approve more than one pill a day at that high of a dose and she was right! I'm not needing more than that anyway....one is enough!!!!!! Also...I don't need it everynight...maybe 4 or 5 times a month at the most. The higher dose works GREAT....as you can tell from my post above....I'll be sitting in my chair or at the table and next thing I'm out.

    I had a burst of energy this morning, so I did some dishes, swept the entire downstairs, mopped the bathroom, kitchen, dining room and hall and I might actually get some dusting done before the day is over. I'm also going grocery shopping. Seems odd to be happy to sweep, mop and dust....but I really am. It makes me feel good to have the oomph to do normal stuff. And of course, then I cry. *shaking my head* Yep. I'm just not right. And this morning, while I was sitting in bed, I looked over at a long mirror that is nearby and I decided something. For weeks I've been telling my mom and husband that I look like an alien. I tried on sunglasses at Walmart the other day and the larger ones made me look like a fly (no hair and giant eyes). This morning, however, I decided that I have morphed from the alien into the classic horror movie guy.....a big, lumbering, bald, albino man.....the one that all the children are afraid of but really, he's just a creeping looking misunderstood character. Yep. That about sums it up. Mom suggested I try my wig for awhile or a cap but it's too hot for that. So today I think I'll one of the baseball caps I have....I have a moss green one, a chocolate brown one and just the other day I received a GREAT package from the National Ovarian Cancer Coalition with a large canvas bag, socks with the teal ribbon on them (teal is for ovarian cancer), a notepad, a relaxation CD, literature, a water bottle, a really beautiful purple lap blanket and a hat with their symbol on the front and I believe it says Survivor on the back...maybe I'll try that hat today. I guess I'm just not in the mood to put up with being stared at on some days and these last few days find me to be particularly irritable. So, I'll give the hat a try or perhaps I'll punch someone in the face for staring a bit too long or reach out and help myself to a handful of their hair so they can join my club. *GRIN* You have NO idea how good that would feel...at least for the moment!

I hate to admit it but the thought of really being able to do that makes me smile.

Michelle