Cod Liver Oil And The Orange Juice

    * (Ron Clark / Carl McDougall)

      Oot o' the East there came a hard man
      Oh oh, a' the way frae Brigton
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah
      Cod liver oil and the orange juice

      He went intae a pub, an' he cam oot paralytic
      Oh oh, VP [or Lanliq] an' cider
      Ah haw, what a helluva mixture ...

      (Spoken: Sex rears its ugly head now ...)

      Does this bus go tae the Dennistoun Palais
      I'm looking for a lumber
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      (Eyes up the talent ... and lo and behold!)

      In the dancin' he met Hairy Mary
      Oh oh, the floo'er o' the Gorbals
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      (Chats her up ...)

      Oh noo Mary, are ye dancin'
      Naw, naw, it's jist the way ah'm stannin'
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      (Rebuffed ...)

      Oh Mary, yer wan in a million
      Oh oh, so's yer chances
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      (Rebuffed again!)

      Well then Mary, can ah run ye hame
      Oh oh, ah've got a pair o' sandshoes
      Ah haw, yer helluva funny ...

      (Never say die ... sways aboot nonchalantly,
      picks his nails wi' his bayonet -
      and hew knocks it off!)

      Doon through the back close an' intae the dunny
      It wasnae for the first time
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      Then oot cam her mammy, she's goin' tae the cludgie
      Oh oh, ah buggered off sharpish
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...

      Hairy Mary looking for her hard man
      Oh oh, he's jined the Foreign Legion
      Ah haw, Sahara an' ra camels ...

      Then Hairy Mary had a little baby
      Oh oh, its faither's in the Army
      Ah haw, glory hallelujah ...
    *

      (East - Glasgow's east end; Brigton - the Glasgow suburb of Bridgeton)
      (VP, Lanliq - cheap fortified wines)
      (Dennistoun Palais - dance hall in the east end suburb of Dennistoun)
      (Gorbals - former Glasgow inner-city slum district)
      (sandshoes - sneakers)
      (dunny - tenement passage or basement)
      (cludgie - shared toilet in tenement blocks)

      As sung by Hamish Imlach

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