Today is a better day. My husband and I went for a ride in the woods and then to one of my favorite places to kayak. We walked around the lake for a bit and that did wonders for my spirit.

But the truth is, I cry every day. Sometimes for just a second or two but this past week has been a LOT more. I'm not entirely sure what brings it all on, I'm just weepy. Can't help it. I got a birthday card today with a sweet note in it and I cried. I also got a package from the Ovarian Cancer Alliance.....another lap blanket, pins, magnets, pens, survivor stories in print and a DVD and lots of literature for both me and for my caregivers (had a really cool list of things people can do to help that I might draw from if I need it). I opened the booklet for me to a page all about hospice care. That did it. BAWL. BAWL. BAWL. I can't get away from it. It's ok. I'm ok. And Susan...don't be surprised if I'm weepy at church...I swear I have no idea what sets it off sometimes.

I spent this afternoon writing some long overdue cards to people and it feels good...wish I had done it sooner. Tingly fingers (neuropathy from the chemo) make it somewhat more difficult to do so I just take my time and stop when I need to.

I know I shouldn't think it but as my birth approaches this year, I can't help but wonder if I will be here for my next birthday. I know it's not a guarantee for any of us but....well.....these last few months have brought that closer to home.

Michelle