It's heartbreaking that MG is in the position of having to ask this question. I feel for her.

It is troubling to see an organization with a top-down hierarchical structure that has no formal mechanism for giving a voice to those who are on the lowest rung in that hierarchy.

This is one reason I left the Catholic church, despite my Jesuit edication and generations of family history, and joined the Episcopal one. There, the hierarchy is intended to work from the bottom up -- via the people's chosen representatives at least. Simplistically stated, the community have the power and are the employers of the clergy. This of course is not a perfect system either, but it's a lot better than an absolute monarchy, particularly one that will by its nature always place one gender in the position of being able to dictate the behavior of the other.

I wish you peace, MG, in whatever course you choose.