Transcribed from the video at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5eBT6OSr1TI:


THE DAILY MAIL SONG
"Dan & Dan"

Royals on the first page, swine flu and road rage,
Find Maddie, foreign baddie, put him in a big cage,
Bureaucratic red tape, Facebook gang rape,
Gordon out, Dave in, before the country caves in.
Ian Huntley gets his own Jacuzzi and a gym in jail.
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Bring back capital punishment for paedophiles.
Photo feature on schoolgirl skirt styles,
Binge Britain, single mums, pensioners, hoodie scum,
Oversexed and under age, foreign stories half a page,
Criminals get Marks & Spencer vouchers when released on bail.
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Ban this gay smut. I'm not racist but....
Car crime, knife crime, hang-the-cheating-wife time.
Pop stars take drugs. Teen boys wear hoods.
Sports stars have sex. Bears shit in woods.
Brussels politicians want to stop us drinking English ale.
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Cilimategate, petrol prices, potholes, credit crisis,
Gypsies, Russell Brand, time we all took a stand,
Modern art, where to start? Trash the lot of it apart
From statuette of puppy, fifty quid plus B&B P&P.
Muslim women hiding stolen goods behind their veil.
It's absolutely true because I read it in the Daily Mail.

Poles paid to give blood. Immigration like a flood.
Soft touch British Isles. Cancer from your mobiles,
Cancer from your laptop, cancer from your root crop,
Cancer from your shoes, from your dog, from your pen top,
Immigrants arriving on an unprecedented scale.
It's got to be the case if it's written in the Daily Mail.
They never mince their words in the good old Daily Mail.
It's absolutely true because I gather all my views from the Daily Mail.