Thanks for the birthday wishes!!! :)

Today has been a crappy day. I called my surgeon's office to talk to his head nurse early this morning but she was in a meeting until late afternoon. I called my chemo nurse and she talked to my chemo Dr. about this pain I'm having. They really couldn't help me so finally my surgeon's nurse called back. I like her very much as she is very pleasant to talk to and she explains things well.

Here's the deal. This pain COULD be me healing or an adhesion or something else. She said it sounds like a healing issue and I should expect weird strange pains for awhile off and on. I told her my fear of it being cancer spreading and she said that's a normal fear but that I shouldn't worry about it until they tell me to worry. I have an appointment with my surgeon on Monday....he will do an exam and we will talk. She said if he feels it's necessary, they might order some imaging tests. I am trying not to worry.....it's not easy for me.

I also talked to my friend Tracy today. We talked for 3 hours. We laughed, cried, talked about cancer, talked about other stuff and cried together some more. She recently found out that she has polyps on her liver that may or may not be cancerous. We both know how serious that is and had some end of life conversation....that's a really difficult topic of conversation when you know that you could very well be in the same boat.....not only that, but my friend is hurting and scared and so am I....so yeah...we cried a lot today.

I got dressed, put some make up on and got myself out of the house. Sometimes it's amazing how how you are dressed makes you feel. I was in jeans and an old white stained up t-shirt, big old black cardigan, a brown scarf and 2 hats....I was cold today. Looked like a commercial for some cold meds. So anyway, I fixed myself up, went to the drugstore, post office, visited my former student teaching mentor and went to Walmart where I wandered for over an hour....had some prints made up...ok, about 100 of them...picked out a few frames....some for me, some to frame photos for others and I made myself a little foot spa basket.....little tub for soaking my toes, cream for my feet, a little nail polish....nothing extravagent. I also got myself a small tripod. People have been asking me to do a video talking about my story and as a way of keeping up with me....so I needed the tripod to hold my little iFlip camera. I'm going to do the video (set it all up and the battery died) and keep it real...it won't be pretty but my story isn't pretty.
   Anyway, it's time to get dinner going.

I'm tired and don't particularly want to be alone right now.

Michelle