One night in gay Paree
I paid five francs to see
A great big fat lady
Tatooed from head to knee
And on her jaw was a British Man-o-war
On her back was the Union Jack, so I paid five francs more
And up and down her spine
Was the Royal Engineers in line
And on her lilly white t*ts, t*ts, t*ts
Were a fleet of battle ships, ships, ships
On her fanny, was Jolsen singin' "MAAAMEEE"
How I love her, Oh I love her
And I love my mother in law.

I love my mother in law though she's nothing but a *' old whore
She nags me day and night
I can't do * all right
She's bald, she's bandy
But she makes my c*ck feel randy!
How I love her, How I love her
How I love my Mother-in-law

I love my wife (yes I do, Yes I do)
I love her dearly
I love the hole
She p*sses through.
I love her t*ts (tiddley its, tiddley its)
And her big brown a*sehole
I'd eat her sh*t with a rusty spoon (rusty spoon, rusty spoon)

She's bald, she's bandy
But she makes my c*ck feel randy!
How I love her, How I love her
How I love my Mother-in-law!