Formatting will probably go to pieces but here is the original Adge Cutler version. Don't know how it happened, but when I printed this out to take with me to sing, it bowdlerised it - the rudest verse got cut out!

When I were a lad, I were so glad
To go out in the daytime
With me fork and a bottle and a cork,
To help out in the hay time.
Was tossing hay up on the mound,
I met young Lucy Bailey.
I said, "My dear, are you often here?"
She said, "Yes, sir, twice daily."

We had such fun in the summer sun,
Lucy were so thrilling,
Sweet and pure, but I weren't sure
That that young maid were willing.
Till one day among the hay
We were working gaily,
She ups and slips, sommat rips,
And I went there twice daily.

She said, "Dear! I do feel queer.
I think I ought to tell ee,
It ain't new bread," she sadly said.
"'Tis swelling up me belly.
Ought to go to Dr Joe,"
And off she went so gaily.
He gave her a dollop of girt pink jollop,
And said, "Take this twice daily."

Now Lucy's dad were very mad,
Chased I round the hay mound.
Said, "My son, you've had your fun .
The time has come to pay now.
"My girl you'll wed," the old man said,
As he waved his shotgun gaily.
"If you don't," he said, "I'll put some lead
And you won't go there twice daily."

Well, the very next day, in the month of May,
We held the ceremony,
Paid off the vicar with a gallon of liquor,
Rode to church on a pony.
Village folks for miles around
Waved and shouted gaily.
There's no doubt, you'll get caught out
If you go there twice daily.

To Lucy's joy, she had a boy.
What a little darling!
Round and fat like a Cheshire cat,
Perky as a starling,
Skin were smooth as a cider jar,
And they called him Buster Bailey.
Fed him on swedes and charlock weeds,
And a pint of scrump twice daily.

Now we'm old. Our story's told,
Been 40 years together,
And we often stray where we tossed the hay
In that old-time summer weather.
Kids we got full 10 or more.
We goes on quite gaily.
Though I'm old and grey, when I gets me way,
I still goes there twice daily.

Observe that the boy now has a name. Charlock weeds are an edible plant used in very posh salads now, but once were a popular dish, and scrump is cider. Rough cider. The diddly-i-dee-doo bits in the middle differ, and are sometimes replaced by comments like "Oooo painful" and "Aarrr they wuz roight tooo!" in the appropriate places.

Have fun with it.

LTS

HTML line breaks added. --JoeClone, 19-Sep-02.