I can't find the image now, but I have seen a picture of a life-sized and very realistic Latin American cock-and-balls-shaped pottery ocarina. Guess where you blew it.

It just occurred to me that with present-day casting technology it would be quite easy to make these from life. Any folk club could then immortalize visiting male performers in playable form:

"You want a low B flat? Where do we keep the Bruce McGregor?"