From the sheet music at The Library of Congress American Memory Collection:


MY MOTHER-IN-LAW
Adolphe Flamant
New York: Edward Schuberth & Co., 1876.

1. I married a woman of sweetness and truth, and beauty without a flaw;
But over my head hung like Damocles' sword, that horror, a mother-in-law.
So upright and downright in person and looks, she embodied the dismal old saw
Of a scolding and pushing, worrying, bothering bore of a mother-in-law.

2. She came to live with us. Sure chaos and wreck would be the result I foresaw,
So I gave my cigars and my meerschaum, with groans, to a friend with no mother-in-law.
One night as we sat by a blazing wood fire, when the days had grown chilly and raw,
"How cozy and nice you would look with a pipe! Don't you smoke?" said my mother-in-law.

3. Did my ears hear aright? Yes, bless her dear heart! "Don't you smoke" was the first happy straw
To show how the wind blew and clear up the clouds betwixt me and my mother-in-law.
And oh, she is the kindest, dearest and best old darling that ever I saw.
My mother I love, my wife I adore, but I worship my mother-in-law.