Chorus
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1

To market, to market with my brother Jim,
When somebody threw a tomato at him,
Tomatoes are soft and they don't bruise the skin,
But this one killed Jim it was wrapped in a tin!

Chorus

Now Mary the milkmaid was milking a cow,
The trouble with Mary she didn't know how,
Along came the farmer, and gave her the sack,
So she turned the cow over and poured the milk back!
Chorus

(Alternative ending to Mary
She went and she tried, but she pulled the wrong tit,
And all of a sudden was covered in ****!)

Chorus

I called on my girlfriend, her name was Miss Brown,
She was having a bath so she couldn't come down,
I said 'slip on something, and you'd better be quick',
So she slipped on the soap and, by Gosh she was quick!

Chorus