What will we do if someone sings Dylan?
Oh, true lovers, what will we do then?
We'll stare at our beers
This confirms our worst fears
Not those evil songwriters again!

What will we do if someone sings THEIR song?
Oh, true lovers, what will we do then?
We'll order more beers
If the hired help hears
Not those evil songwriters again!

What will we do if they only have crap beer?
Oh, true lovers, what will we do then?
T'would be a sad tale
No Trad Song and Real Ale
And those evil songwriters again!

What will we do if they sing something Fairport?
Or French, Kipling/Bellamy or even MacColl?
They're just what we need
No ego or greed
Like those evil songwriters again

How many pubs must a man hear have a beer in
Oh, true lovers, 'till he sing along?
And how many beers will it take till he knows
It's all in the service of song
And when will he think that his place is to sing
Not talk about what's right or wrong
The answer, my friends...