No, sophocleese, we are never helpless. There is always a moment of choice. (Otherwise I would probably be dead by now.)

The horrible thing is that so many do not realize this, and so many do not take the time to think for themselves, and so many end up just repeating unhealthy patterns of behaviour.

Children do not really have a choice, but that is partly because we do not teach them how to think. And when they think on their own, it is often beaten out of them.
Then when they are older, they are expected to be "productive" members of society, whatever that means.

Most of the people in this ballad were adults. They each had a choice.

Society bears the greatest share of blame in this (IMHO) because many people do not get out of destructive patterns. Many people do not know that there is a choice, and therefore choose according to what society says is right, rather than thinking it out, deciding, and then acting with confidence on that decision.

If people do not know there is a choice, then society is responsible, for their actions, and for cleaning up the consequences. (IMHO)

By the standards of society at that time, Lady Arlen (or whoever) was the most to blame. (And the page was the least to blame.) And this I do not accept.