Michelle, you will be a force to be reckoned with once you're through all of this. And a huge help to others going through it, if they read these posts at a time when they really need information.

I've had someone contact me who never read Mudcat before, but found a particular post in a thread because she was searching for any information, personal accounts in particular, of the condition that he son has. I described my son's treatment, and it was a huge help to her to contact me and exchange information, but she couldn't do that until she read what had been written at Mudcat. We may right now have followers who lurk but never say a word (but you're welcome to, just use a guest name and be consistent when you visit). They're gaining strength from your experiences. And weeping about going into something painful isn't backsliding, it's understanding that you must do this and move forward, but you don't like it, so you complain some. At least you're doing exactly what you need to do to get over this cancer. That is the important message.

Good luck kiddo, and we'll be looking for your posts when you feel up to writing.

Maggie