Thank God for Hesperis. She has it right. Ask yourself what your goal is. If you are interested in this child's developement as a performer and singer, then you need to treat her like what she is..............a member of the band. She apparently has gotten the idea that you all need her badly enough that you will tolerate her doing things that are not good for the band. I know what I would do and it would involve letting her Mother know that she is in danger of not being in the band any longer. Then I would speak to her as an equal and a member of the band. I would indicate to her what the expectations are if she, or anyone else, is going to stay in the band. If you can't do this with every member, your band will reach a certain level and never progress beyond it. NEWS FLASHIt ain't about the musicians, it is about the music!! This young lady doesn't understand this principle. You are doing her no favors by dancing around this. I would rather she hate me forever than allow her to believe she is bigger than the music and the band. You can teach her a valuable lesson, and if done right, do it without losing her. But I would rather lose a member than have that person's attitude affect the group dynamic that allows the band to continually improve.

All the best,

Mick