LF, yes, bitching here is venting, and bitching elsewhere is not helpful to relationships as I am sure you know. It can be a hard balance to keep! :~)

I think I can tell the venting here from the behavior out there-- which tells me that you are not only doing the best you can, but that you are, from this view, doing really WELL under a really HARD situation. And THAT is the flashing red L I mentioned earlier.

(caps to save time, gotta run all day)

~Susan