Come on, Capt'n... Just a few stories... Ahhhh, tips.... Ahhh, pearls of wisdom....
Okay, go slug down a couple Scotches first so that when you are later reminded that "gentlemen don't tell" you can say, "Hey, I was drunk at the time..."
Ya' know, I think maybe these Repubs oughtta start using the drunk defense... I'm so sick of hearin' the same old, "I accept personal responsibility"... It's stale... Can't pone just get up and say, "Hey, ya'll... I was drunk at the time that I had sex with that women"... I mean, Bill Clinton could have even used it rather than arguing over the meaning of the world "is"... I mean, let's get real here... Men are about some dumbasses... (Kendall not included... yet)... They get caught weaving down the road and get pulled over and end up with a DUI and there they are, havin' spent 3 grand on a defense attorney, lookin' dwon at their shoes as if their shoes made 'um weave down the road??? Like, what is that all about... If I get pulled over fir weavin' I ain't gonna waste my 3 grand on no lawyer... No sir... I'm gonna stand tall and look the judge in the face and ask him if he could rive any better if he ahd stopped off at the Sweet Springs Store and knocked down a 12 pack with the boys out back... "Well, yer honor person... You think you could do any better with 12 Nattie Lights in you???"... Yeah, that would be my defense... Hell, yer gonna get the same punishment either way... Right???