Keyboard malfunction. Here is the complete version:

I can just imagine Shane having access to such a machine. He'd test it out first, using hotdogs. Then when he was absolutely sure it was safe, he would make a bet with everybody he knew that he wasn't afraid to wave his own erect penis at a table saw blade, and that the mere sight of his mighty member approaching would cause the saw blade to retreat in terror!

They'd all figure he'd finally gone completely nuts or just blind stupid, and they would place large bets in favor of the saw. Don would take all the bets in at the door and place them in a common kitty, and usher in the attendees, both male and female, into the McBride basement to witness the awesome confrontation of Shane versus the table saw!

There would be much merriment and heavy drinking prior to the death-defying act itself. Shane would get thoroughly drunk and boast and carry on about his sexual powers. The bettors would all laugh loudly and say things like, "Yer gonna sing soprano after today, ya flipheaded goof!"

Then Shane would briefly retire into the furnace room with a flashlight, some vaseline, and a dirty magazine....emerging a minute later sporting a mighty hard-on....and Don would throw the switch on the machine!!!

A hush would descend on the spectators as they realized "Holy flip...the flippin' idiot is ackshally gonna do it!"

And Shane would advance toward the gleaming, whining sharp-toothed sawblade........at the last instant the gals who do the wet T-shirt act at the Iron Horse would utter shrieks of horror, and the guys would give inarticulate cries of alarm....and suddenly the saw would retract harmlessly away from Shane's titanic tool.

A huge yell of astonishment would erupt from the crowd! Shane would beat his chest with his fist and say, "WHO IS THE CHAMP? I AM THE FLIPPIN' CHAMPEEN! NO SAW BLADE DARES TA FACE ME!"

They've got to get hold of one of those saws. This could be the big break Shane and Don have been looking for. "Freedom 35" could be more than just a dream....