Ok, when I moved in and found the house flippers I bought the place from had forgotten to install any phone jacks, and it took me six weeks to get a landline, I figured stuff happens. Then, the old guy next door backed his minivan into my front bumper. (I was parked perfectly, he just doesn't back up very well.) After that I didn't have a front bumper. I eventually replaced that car with a beautiful little Elantra wagon, that ran like a dream until the second engine fire, when my mechanic told me the waterpump was faulty.
Meanwhile a chunk of the kithen ceiling turned up on the kitchen floor because the shower leaks. I brought in a plumber. The shower still leaks. I tried to bring in another plumber. He got arrested before he could come.
Two of the cats I moved in with died. They were young cats. They shouldn't have. Every plant I moved in with died, including a couple I've had since college.
I clean houses for a living. Before I moved I had more work than I could deal with. Since moving, I thank my lucky stars if I work a 4 day week. The best new client I found since moving here made a pass at me, and she wasn't my type. Anyways, as she's declaring bankruptcy I don't work for her anymore.
I applied for a job with the census, scored 26 out of a possible 28, and never heard from them. I think they lost my paperwork.
Those are just a few of the highlights.
Now I am not the sort of person who believes in curses. Attorneys' children tend to be skeptical. But with all that, I could become a believer.
But damned if I know where I could find a virgin.