Learned at a beach fire at Shelter Island, San Diego, ca. 1980, and done in a talking blues style:


The dogs all had a meeting; they came from near and far.
Some of them came by greyhound; others came by car.

Now, before them dogs could enter that great hall to have a look,
They had to take their assholes off and hang 'em on a hook.

So the dogs took off their assholes and in the door they came.
None of 'em had an ass to sit on, but they sat down just the same.

Well, hardly were they seated, each mother, son and sire,
When some dirty low-down son of a bitch jumped up and hollered "FIRE!"

Well, up they jumped and out they run; they didn't have time to look,
But each dog grabbed him an asshole down off of the asshole hook.

They got their assholes all mixed up and that made 'em awful sore,
'Cuz each dog had to go home with an ass that he'd never worn before.

So that is why you see as you walk down the street,
A dog will run and smell the ass of every dog that he meets.

And that is why a dog will leave a nice fat, juicy bone
To run and smell some other dog's butt in hopes he'll find his own.