I just don't know how to reconcile the deaths of his family with the fact that his family likely considered him a hero and believed in his efforts to mount attacks against us.

   If I were engaged in terrorist ummm... 'approved Jihad' planning... knowing what can happen, I would not go NEAR family and non-combatant friends very often. Sadly, those who plan & execute insurrectionist activities these days have made it a practice to hide in 'public' areas, hoping that will deter attacks....and if not, they INTEND that attacks WILL inflame the rhetoric and gain more recruits.

War is not the same anymore.... we have no good rules for dealing with enemies who are not in uniform, not an organized 'army', and not deterred by losses. They have an attitude similar to the Japanese in WWII, but with a slightly different overlay of religious fervor. The Japanese were at least definable and identifiable in the field.

How DO we 'back out' of this conflict, knowing that it would be unlikely to end planning & attacks against us?