Thank you Peter; I was having thoughts along these lines the last few days and this articulation has helped greatly...even if only etching my confusion in starker relief than before! :)

My recent struggle has had to do with what is "important" about living one's life? I am dealing with an unpleasant situation with my student loan debts just now and want it to go away. I realize this sort of thing can create all kinds of stress, just as any money-related issue can. And I try to put it in perspective by remembering that what is important is to celebrate my friends and loved ones, to celebrate my own life and share my kindness and talents and beauty and mirth with the world...if I wish to be remembered by others with pleasure or fondness or respect, I would hope that my efforts to paint the world with the many colors of my vital end up being more significant than amassing property or money or other stuff that is, ultimately, if not ephemeral, still rather meaningless in the larger sense of the word...

We never know when our number is up...we should strive each day to end things on a high note...or at least a comfortable one.