Hi Guest,

In June this year I finished working for a bully because I challenged him on his behaviour and reported him to the Union & HR Manager and then in the mediation session they arranged for us he did the dirty on me and managed to get me to agree to working on a short term project and leaving at the end of June. I was temporary anyway from year to year, but if I hadn't agreed to that I could possibly still be there.

I discovered some really good websites on bullying which helped me a lot to understand the whole problem and to make myself feel a lot better about myself as a victim of bullying.

Tim Field's site is very good, comprehensive, with lots of links to other good sites.

Bully OnLine: Tim Field shares his unique insight into workplace bullying, a cause of stress and ill health and the basis of harassment, discrimination, abuse and violence

http://www.successunlimited.co.uk/

I even like what he calls his site - Success Unlimited - because that's how I am starting to feel now. Within three days of leaving the job I had two part time classes to teach, an offer of a longer term training course to run, with prospects of further employment, and an offer for a short term project. I did what Bartholomew said. I listed everything I wanted in my life and my work, and I set them as goals for myself and used them in marketing myself for jobs etc. If I had still been there suffering I wold not have found these other work prospects.

Even if you don't/didn't get fired you probably still need to investigate the information on bullying. Once you understand the nature of bullies and bullying you will start to see a way out of your dilemma. Especially read Tim Field's assessment of how victims are chosen. It will do wonders for your self esteem, believe me. You were chosen because you are good at what you do.

Someone in this thread said don't talk to prospective employers about the bully, especially in the interview stage. I agree with that - use positive spins on the reasons for wanting a new job rather than negatives, desperation, name-calling etc

BUT - find someone to talk to about how you are feeling, someone who cares about you and your well being. A friend, a counsellor, a minister of religion, whoever you can trust to hear what you are saying in the right spirit. Most victims of bullying are extremely isolated and very few people understand how it really feels to be trapped in that situation.

Please PM me if you want to talk about it.

Look after yourself, you are valuable, and worth looking after. Don't let the b*****d grind you down

Helen