I omitted
"A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp"
" One more brain cell, & he'd be a plant"
True story! One guy I worked with got sacked after repeated warnings. Someone said he should have been given another chance. The boss immediately replied:
"As sure as God made little green apples, that guy had more bites of the cherry than you can shake a stick at."
Got three metaphors mixed in one sentance, and couldn't understand why people were grinning.