Okay Kevin :-

I stood on the platform at Midnight
when they told me my Mom's dog had died.
I'd just gone there from the Taverna,
where I'd found out my Sweetheart had lied.
I was yodelling about all my sorrows
when a "PING" nearly took someone's sight!
Oh why does my G-String keep breaking
when it's Country and Western tonight?

Quack!
GtD