LF, you may know that I ran a home daycare for a number of years (way pre-CS). My most fragile client was a tiny preemie who came to me on a home apnea monitor. Her nurse came to train me on infant CPR and customize it to preemies, and she taught me how to run the apnea monitor that would come with Jamie. My thought when I mutually interviewed with Jamie's mom was, if I can't choose what challenges I get with MY kid, who am I to turn down an "at risk" daycare kid? I will simply have to learn what to do!!! And then DO IT. That is the job kids require....

My scariest day with her was not the start, but the time much later when her doctor weaned her (and her parents and then me) off the monitor. The day was left to me, for my stopping the hook-ups for every nap.

The day I did it I laid her on my shoulder in one of her favorite drop-off-to-sleep positions and I just rocked her, skin to skin, while she napped for her usual hour and a half. During that time God and Jamie made my skin learn of Jamie's relaxed, reliable strength. I absorbed how safe she really was.

I looked back over all the giggles at hookup time and how she had hated the removal of the hookups when I peeled them back off after the nap. I thought how glad she would be-- never having to be "peeled" again. I felt how totally limp she was on my shoulder and how strong and steady her breathing and heartbeat were. I could see that she had been ready for a long time, and that I was the only slacker left in her circle of care.

Other kids present needed attention briefly during this nap, so I just got up, tended to them one-handed, and went back to the rocker. Jamie almost purred, she slept so soundly.

When her mama pickerd her up she said she had done much the same thing the first night they went un-hooked. She suggested I keep the monitor for a few weeks in case I got nervous. She was done with it. Soon I was too, and the nurse picked it up from my place.


What made this work was that I had a plan, and I had a backup adult steps away "on call" who could help a little-- or run the whole show if needed-- or just BE there if I got nervous.

My plan was that if another kid needed me "on the hop," I'd quickly lay Jamie down on a safe, prepped rug and wake her up as I lay her down on my way to whatever crisis had called me. (Apnea babies only ap when asleep.) All the kids in my home that day were in plain sight the whole time-- I was doing this in an apartment and we had an open-concept kitchen/playroom.



Another time with a precious, wee one was little Robbie S. I forget what the problem was (Carla could tell you) but tiny Robbie and young mama were both at SSMH. Robbie was on 24-hour sats monitoring. Mama really needed to sleep a few hours... so I came in and took Robbie for 4 hours, in a rocker next to her bed. The nurse came in and showed me how sats go up with skin contact and up even more with back-rubbing/patting.

So I held and patted and rubbed Robbie in a slow dance-rhythm. When the sats machine stopped beeping, and held 95's steady.... mama fell out HARD and slept as well as HE was sleeping. I told her as she argued, "I know.... he'd rather be with you... it's OK if you don't sleep.... just let me love him for a little while, OK?"

Her body fell her to sleep.... because it was where the wisdom was.

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OK, that's the background behind this: TAKE YOUR PAIN MEDS. Have a second adult with you and make a GOOD PLAN.

Because like the flight attendant on an airplane will tell all the mommies about oxygen for mommie first-- ya gotta take care of YOU FIRST. JTL will count on you to do that, and need you to do it so you can take the best care of HIM.

Later in life that will be one area where you will wish (all parents eventually do) that you had taken better care of YOU.

If you look back you will see so many things I told you... perhaps several tads earlier than you were ready to hear them. :~) This is probably another one, momma. Yeah I know-- he's your kid not ours. :~) Try to trust a leetle bit.

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When will Miss Vee be coming to meet Mr. JT?

~Susan