The first World Cup joke has arrived on my mobile phone - England have arranged their next friendly against Iceland, followed by Tesco and then Asda.

Does anyone know who starts jokes? Everyone knows a joke but do you know anyone who invented a joke? There is a theory that we are being studied by aliens who introduce jokes occasionally to see how humankind reacts. Maybe Capello is an alien testing our sense of humour? This would explain why he selected an unfit Rooney and played him each match. Also why he perserved with Heskey, rarely played Crouch and left Walcott at home.