Excellent poem - haven't heard the tune. I don't understand what you mean by Nessie-approved tune though?

A couple of comments (not criticisms, I couldn't write anything half as good):

don't get all in a tizzy is a turn of phrase I've never heard. 'Don't get in a tizzy' or 'I'm all in a tizzy', yes but I've never heard the two combined. Maybe it's just where I live, but it sounds awkward and a little anachronistic to me.


Second one: the door just on the latch. I don't think 'just' works here. The door is either on the latch or it isn't. I think "front door on the latch" would work better.

As I say, no criticism so please don't take my comments the wrong way. All told, I think it's an excellent piece of work